I'm sitting on a chair in front of you and I think I am here for a discussion, being compelled to… Ok! I'm silent and you will speak to me. I 'm here as individual, a constituent of his society. I don't like myself too much, although you can come to this conclusion… I, everywhere…it is hard to swallow.

I got here as a confrontation with my own fears, in a discussion that I want to be a mean of communication for everybody. I look for myself endlessly, oscillating between a great deal of possibilities of being… being you, him, the others, and myself. Not that I wouldn't know my nature…but I enjoy to play, on my own person, the doom of relationship with the others. I'm living in a society of consumption, which is too much obsessed by it… we are obsessed by ourselves… I've been using a lot of "I"… I'm an entity formed by a plenty of "I".

I analyse myself. In the context of the outward reality, I divide my observation in various acts of ascertaining, which create at their turn the clichés of a healthy life. It's possible that I'm offering you a cliché as well, and even if this would happen, probably one could pass from a note to another with a certain concern… or maybe not.

I'm in front of you again. I'm getting bored trying not to be myself, trying to be another "me", and another "me", all joined to my unique identity.

I am in the dark. I'm trying to find a location from which the others can find me. It is not ignorance; it's absence of light. A practical explanation of that lack is the increasing number of bills; I made them a lot of promises and I received the guarantee of this effect. I like to find myself in the dark; thus I can see more clearly the light from outside. At the level of perception, I need a crystal and considerable image, without any useless details. I'm drinking my tea. I've got light from a neighbour and I'm sitting in a chair in front of you.

I have light.

Delia Calinescu

Translation by Simona Nastac